jarysm

So far, no one has validated the truth or fiction of McCain verbally abusing his wife, but my attempts to find out what McCain really is like came up with this:
In 1998, McCain was giving a speech at a Republican Senate fundraiser, where he made the following joke about (then teenager) Chelsea Clinton:
"Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because Janet Reno is her father."
The joke was reported in full, by the associated press.

Now, this sort of behavior has little to do with leadership skills, but but I am asking myself, were I a republican voter, how great does a leader have to be, how competent and effective, before he can slander the children of his opponents? She was a teenager, for Loves sake, and not even a public figure by choice. And I am only focusing on the "ugly" portion of the joke.

The movie XXY was pretty good, the main character was engaging and had a supportive family. It wasn't my kind of intersex though (she had true hermaphroditism) yet I found much of the film helpful in providing a protagonist I could identify with.
Unfortunatly half of that protagonist is her first love who ends up in a shitty undeserved situation. That I did not like.
The movie left me wanting to talk to my mom about it, which was dumb. She just said the same old things, and like always the conversation left me with little in the way of identity or psychological purchase for dealing with this situation we both have seen two opposite sides of. She the decision maker, me the decision.
Of course she has to stand by that decision, which doesn't leave me alot of room to explore the discomfort and confusion that comes with living with it.
Sometimes it feels like my mom wants me to be special, butin a way that only strengthens her own psychology, even at the expense of my own gender identity.
Has anyone here read middlesex, she is currently arguing that she sent me the book because the main character "was just like you, and what you would have been if I hadn't made sure you were a boy." I have partial androgen insensitivity, and as far as I can tell that character doesn't and I never felt much reinforced or helped when reading the book because of that disconnect.
Did I just miss all the parts my mom hoped would help me out?
I'm actually pretty upset over the conversation, I....am gonna be ok though.
*sigh*
They are only selling singe day tickets to comicon by now, and saturday is still out. I guess there is always next year :(

In an attempt to show (presumably) how Hienz condiments can turn lunch making mom into an expert Italian (male) deli chef, the following advertisement was made.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2008/jun/24/asa.advertising
However, because the subtlety of the message is lost (or ignored by people like me) by those to whom the idea that a family can have two parents of the same gender offensive and difficult, said people complained and the ad was pulled.
I find the ad hilarious (is it a good imitator or is that Robert De Niro?) and progressive because it could be taken in both ways. And the idea that De Niro stops his forgetful gay husband with a indignant "hey, ain'tchoo forgettin' somethin'?" Makes me lol.

It's playing at the Castro, for the pride film festival, and I really want to check it out. However I would feel better not going alone.
Is anyone else interested?

Tran Trong Duyet - a sprightly retiree and amateur ballroom dancer - must rank as one of John McCain's more unlikely supporters.

Four decades ago, during the Vietnam war, Mr Duyet was in charge of the notorious Hoa Lo prison - the place where Mr McCain says he was brutally beaten and tortured during five-and-a-half years as an American prisoner of war.

"McCain is my friend," said 75-year-old Mr Duyet as he feeds the caged birds he now keeps in his garden in this coastal city.

"If I was American, I would vote for him."

Informal chats

Navy pilot John McCain was shot down during a bombing raid over the North Vietnamese capital, Hanoi, in 1967.

He ejected from his aircraft and parachuted into a city lake - only to be dragged out by an angry crowd, barely conscious, and with two broken arms and a broken leg.

From there he was taken to Hoa Lo prison, known to its American military inmates as the "Hanoi Hilton."

John McCain is captured in Hanoi
McCain was captured after his plane was shot down in 1967
McCain has since described enduring months of solitary confinement and systematic torture which drove him to try to kill himself.

"I don't know how he'd react if he met me again," said Mr Duyet, flicking through old black and white photographs of himself and his American prisoners at Hua Lo.

"But I can confirm to you that we never tortured him. We never tortured any prisoners."

Mr Duyet reminisces instead about how he often summoned the future US presidential candidate to his private office for informal chats.

"We used to argue about the war - about whether it was right or wrong," he says.

"He is a very frank man - very conservative, and very loyal to his country and the American ideal.

"He had a very interesting accent and sometimes he taught me words in English and corrected my accent. I have followed his career since he left prison."

Rapprochement

So is Mr Duyet implying that that Senator McCain lied about his treatment at the Hanoi Hilton?

"He did not tell the truth," he says.

"But I can somehow sympathise with him. He lies to American voters in order to get their support for his presidential election."

John McCain's air force suit at the "Hanoi Hilton"
The "Hanoi Hilton" is now a museum - containing McCain's air force suit
But Mr Duyet's propaganda-perfect version of events is impossible to verify - and should be treated with caution in a country where the Communist authorities still keep a tight control over the media.

Relations between Vietnam and the United States have improved dramatically in recent years, following the normalisation of ties between the former enemies in 1995.

Mr McCain played a crucial role in bringing about that initial rapprochement - a fact which helps explain Mr Duyet's enthusiastic support for the McCain presidential campaign.

"I wish him success in the presidential election," he says.

"Of course the Americans started the war in Vietnam and killed so many people - but now we want to leave the past behind.

"So now I consider John McCain my friend because he did much to mend relations between our two countries. And if he becomes president he will do more to improve those ties."
**************************************

Jarys here, now, I'm not saying this guy is telling the truth.
But I am saying this is interesting, as interesting as pie is tasty. And not because of the implications that John McCain could be lying. I wouldn't trust either of those men to give the exact truth on what when on in the Viet Nam war (my step grandfather once told me that anyone who is over eager to talk about what they did during that war is probably full of shit). No the interesting thing is that this guy considers McCain a friend and would vote for him.
Also the relationship he describes he and McCain having reminds me of Bridge over the River Kwai
*whistles Colonel Bogey's March*

I should be sleeping, I have a lot to do tomorrow. But I just can't distract my mind from it's mulling so I turn on a soft light and start blogging about it.
I'm really....lonely, as emo as that sounds. I really want to hold some one and kiss them and genreally me intimate.
I want to talk to someone about my life, while falling asleep, listen to them talk while I hold them sleepily.
The general lack of intimate trust outlet in my life is starting to get to me.
It's hard to feel attractive when no one treats you as desirable. No one flirts with me, or tries to get my attention. None of the girls I try and talk to (I am afraid to reach out to men on this way, I don't want to get punched) reciprocate my interest.
Hell, women not reciprocating interest is the story of my romantic life.
I don't want this to own me, but I have a hard time overcomming the lonelyness and keeping sight of the confidence I have won on the past.
I gotta try to get some sleep, before my emotions and desire cause me to speak without self respect, or freedom.

http://blog.wired.com/wiredscience/2008/06/mars-phoenix-tw.html

Water, as any good Fremen knows, is nessesarry for life (as we know it). While this is in now way proof of martian life, it is proof that mars habitations are possible, or so I have been told.

I will be celebrating with limeade.
In Seattle they are going to have a solstice parade, at Stonehenge druids are having a ceremony, and the arctic circle is going to have 24 hours of uninterrupted daylight. the longest all year.
I also read that mars will have it's solstice in five days. I guess we won that war of the worlds, amirite? Like we came in first....? yadeddit?
Anyway, I'm working during this holiday (old job needs a fill-in), but I will drink my limeade and be mindful of our star.

I was walking home from New Leaf today, which is just south of City Hall on Polk, so I past right in front of the City Hall Building. Officially, the camera crew told me there, the ban on giving out marriage licenses to gay couples by the state was lifted today, even though the "season" was starting tomorrow. So there were camera's and cops everywhere. Especially across Polk in the plaza, where a couple dozen people were gathering around a banner that read "Recriminalize Sodomy"
I went over to check it out, to see what the signs said, what the people over there were like, what they were saying, and in general to explore. The guy with the the sign that lists all the things god hates was there, though the nice black man who carries around the sign that says "Jesus Loves you" at Powell turnaround was not. There were a lot of people, with a lot of signs, one of them was even giving an interview for a new crew. At one point I began to become concerned with being seen walking around the group, especially with a news camera. But I quickly realized that anyone who would recognize me would know how I stand on the subject. So what's the harm?
I noticed that one man didn't have a sign that had anything to do with god, sodomy, marriage, or Jesus. He was sitting on the ground leaning on a statue, and his sign said "I'm hungry."
I gave the man a dollar and told him about one of my favorite diners in the area, where you could get a omelet for just four more washingtons. He seemed nice, though I think he was just humoring me out of gratitude. I let him go about his begging.
But he started me thinking, why was he hungry, with all these people around, literally feet away from him on almost all sides? These people said (on their signs and to the camera) that they were Christians. Isn't providing for the poor important to Christian values? I can't remember the exact wording, but I am sure there are several passages in the bible which suggest so. Something about, when a man is poor, I am with him also? I'll look it up.
Ok, here we go, Mark 10:20 and onward "20 And he said to him, "Teacher, all these I have observed from my youth."
21 And Jesus looking upon him loved him, and said to him, "You lack one thing; go, sell what you have, and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me."
22 At that saying his countenance fell, and he went away sorrowful; for he had great possessions."
This passage is mirrored in Mathew, Mark, and Luke, but I can't find the bible version.
My bible scholarship is the fail.
But still, why do Christians find, not in a policy way but in the moment, homosexuality to be more important than ministering to the poor and their needs? There isn't a passage in the bible where Jesus speaks on homosexuality at all.
That question is unanswerable by me, what I saw was a group of individuals with many desires, opinions, and decisions, and I couldn't make a general statement about them (though I may want to). It is my thinking that if care of the poor was a value of greater import to Jesus than the oppression of "sodomy" than none of these people are true followers, but then who can be a true follower of man who never wrote down his own quotes and died over two thousand years ago, leaving his story to pass from person to person, culture to culture, language to language?
Whether they are true to their prophet or not, I don't like what they are doing and I know that my opinions have shaped my reaction to them and my thinking on them. Knowing that, my mind, is really my best preparation before getting to know them, and with this knowledge I go to join my friends tomorrow, not against anyone, but with others, in support of others, and who knows? Am I romantic to think I might meet some one on the other side who might see me as a person instead of the opposition. With two people shaking hands in no mans land, hopefully the probability of a fight breaking out will decrease.
I mean, the notion has certainly brought peace to the part of my mind that wants to punch conservative kisser : D

Oh, the Sith Lord thing.
I was watching the daily how tonight and the guest was an ex federal prosecutor who was fired from the justice department for political reasons. He summed up, in his own words the experience as: "I thought I was going to work for the Jedi Knights, and I found out they were basically the Sith Lords." (some variation in memory is possible.
I stood up in recognition of a true fan.

I went to an anonymous protest of Scientology (or is it written $cientology?) And I enjoyed myself immensly. Wearing masks, conversing politely with passerbyes, bringing online memes to life, eating free cookies and Cake, chanting, singing, making friends.
Twas grand.
Also, Oklahoma Declares Sovereignty
---STATE OF OKLAHOMA2nd Session of the 51st Legislature (2008)HOUSE JOINTRESOLUTION 1089 By: KeyAS INTRODUCEDA Joint Resolution claiming sovereignty under theTenth Amendment to the Constitution of the UnitedStates over certain powers; serving notice to thefederal government to cease and desist certainmandates; and directing distribution.WHEREAS, the Tenth Amendment to the Constitution of the UnitedStates reads as follows:"The powers not delegated to the United States by theConstitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved tothe States respectively, or to the people."; andWHEREAS, the Tenth Amendment defines the total scope of federalpower as being that specifically granted by the Constitution of theUnited States and no more; andWHEREAS, the scope of power defined by the Tenth Amendment meansthat the federal government was created by the states specificallyto be an agent of the states; andWHEREAS, today, in 2008, the states are demonstrably treated asagents of the federal government; andWHEREAS, many federal mandates are directly in violation of theTenth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States; andWHEREAS, the United States Supreme Court has ruled in New Yorkv. United States, 112 S. Ct. 2408 (1992), that Congress may notsimply commandeer the legislative and regulatory processes of thestates; andWHEREAS, a number of proposals from previous administrations andsome now pending from the present administration and from Congressmay further violate the Constitution of the United States.NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED BY THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVESAND THE SENATE OF THE 2ND SESSION OF THE 51ST OKLAHOMA LEGISLATURE:THAT the State of Oklahoma hereby claims sovereignty under theTenth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States over allpowers not otherwise enumerated and granted to the federalgovernment by the Constitution of the United States.THAT this serve as Notice and Demand to the federal government,as our agent, to cease and desist, effective immediately, mandatesthat are beyond the scope of these constitutionally delegatedpowers.THAT a copy of this resolution be distributed to the Presidentof the United States, the President of the United States Senate, theSpeaker of the United States House of Representatives, the Speakerof the House and the President of the Senate of each state'slegislature of the United States of America, and each member of theOklahoma Congressional Delegation ---
I wonder how our constitional scholar-president will deal with this?

*swallows*
You see, tomorrow's my last day of work. Lot of stuff to do, and after that, the school year is over. No job tied down to move on to.
I'm not to proud to admit it....I'm afraid.
I don't know how this is going to turn out. The choice to not buy things so I can buy food is getting a easier. My bank account number is always on my mind.
I'm afraid I won't get another job. I'm afraid not looking harder sooner has damned me.
I'm afraid I will have to leave my home, my friends, my city.
I don't think talking to my roomates would resolve anything. They'll say "aren't you looking." And I'll say "yeah." Then they'll reassure me that I'll find something, and what else is there to say?
I'll still be afraid.
I just got into a credientaling program, I cannot give up now.
But with no job, I can't survive to wait for the program to start and I get a real teaching job.
I want to shovel food in my mouth, drink the chardoney we have on top of the fridge, and bite my nails. But I won't.
Small comfort.

I was reading a list of the orst McCain blow ups, and this was the number one:
. "His Own Wife, Cindy McCain - In his new book, The Real McCain, Cliff Schecter, a journalist and frequent contributor at the Huffington Post related perhaps the most disturbing of McCain's tirades. During his 2000 White House bid, the Senator was joined on the campaign trail by his wife, Cindy, his aides, and three journalists who spoke to Schecter on condition of anonymity, but independently confirmed each other's accounts of the incident. Cindy McCain playfully ran her fingers through the Senator's hair and teased, "You're getting a little thin up there." McCain reddened and fired back, "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollup, you cunt." After he'd cooled down, McCain apologized, saying he'd had a long day. "

In front of reporters, over playful teasing, no the worse is that he would speak to anyone (especially a loved one) with such hatred and disrespect.
If this guy becomes president.......

EDIT: Here are some more examples I found, from the same site.
http://www.eyesonobama.com/blog/content/id_20282/title_McCains-History-of-Blow-Ups-10-More-Examples/

Now I finally feel like the mile stone is crossed (sorry I'm late I have been in the east bay all weekend, hiking and role playing).

Clinton suspends campaign, endorses Obama
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080607/ap_on_el_pr/clinton;_ylt=AlVtVLRQpaOumQOz8pAus3Ks0NUE

Another thing I found today (or Digg, found, rather) is this
http://www.jedreport.com/2008/06/brutal.html
In some ways, the video in that link soothes my fears of a republican white house. If more people saw this video McCain's electability would surely come to doubt. But if information like this is not brought to the public focus, and he is elected, than this video is a sobering prologue to four horrible years.

I have no words to comment on this....
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2008/06/05/2008-06-05_unspeakable_horrors_as_trial_opens_in_to.html
I know all this may seem very heavy and chunky for one post. But I didn't want a procession of such posts, and, well, it's all been on my mind.
The last one..... no reaction I could have, nothing I could say, would help.
May justice prevail, is my hope.

I know I have been posting a lot of trivial things, but something has been weighing on my mind lately that diverts from the usual "will I ever meet anyone?" crap.
I hold opinions, obviously all people do, and I voice them, to people I trust. But I also believe, deeply as a subjectivist would, that non of m opinions are anything near the truth, which I reason to be imperceivable.
I know I believe things that don't make a lot of sense, that reality can be shaped by belief, that rich people continuously conspire against all others in politics and society, that gods exist and their not the boss of me. But these beliefs are mine, and I'm aware enough of them to not take them seriously.
But I do, apparently take them seriously enough to get offended on their behalf.
What I have been thinking about lately is how mad some beliefs I disagree with make me mad when they present themselves to me.
A prime example is through the Odd Thomas books, a series that I once felt was so genuinely morally uplifting and inline with what I believed that it inspired me to ponder morality deeper, now feels as if the authors politics and Christianity are hijacking the narrator's moral standards beliefs. The beliefs that once made me cheer the protagonist on now distance me from him. If there are three ideas i don't like it's the idea that societies liberalism is it's degradation, that moral character comes from faith in god, and that there are good people and there are bad people, and bad people are irredeemable.
the new book exemplifies these ideas in a way the past books hardly hinted at and it's taking a lot of enjoyment out of the books.
Another thing that seems to be rearing it's head into my life is the presences of libertarianism. I wish I were more eloquent in speech so that I could better defend my beliefs when libertarian friends seek discussion. Trying to tell a friend that the only group that will be better off if you privatize schools are the special interest groups, whose brainwashing audiences will grow rapidly, is not comfortable. I don't lie telling people their wrong. We're all wrong that's not the point.
the Point is a part of me is furious at these beliefs and WANTS to tell these people their wrong, wants to tell friends dark perspectives on their behavior that are none of my business to remark on, to yell at evangelical and conservative Christians for their lack of respect for others and not to mention humility (the exact crime I would be committing, I might add), part of me wants to tell other's they are stupid, they are malicious, they need to shut up and listen to me.
Like I know!
Is it ego? to be self righteous, to deem yourself correct, and other's wrong, wrong enough that correction is needed? Is it but pride in one's own beliefs to give them the honor of the title "facts", and know a truth no dissenters could possible share?
When people believe things I don't and make me aware of it, am I taking myself to seriously when I feel the need to be condescending to them.
Let me entertain you with the trivial things that get my goat:
Apple fandom as nonconformist and anti authoritarian,
libertarianism,
religious dogmatists,
morality as god-determined,
the idea that freedom is different than equality,
moral absolutism,
moral absolutism in star wars fiction,
cultural and civilization snobbery,
make up = beauty,
homophobia,
materialism in both the social and philosophical meanings,
objectivism when it comes to truth (especially relating to snobbery about one's opinions and the opinions of others),
love of anime just because it's anime and the disdain of on anime just because it's not anime,
anyone not admitting to being a hypocrite,
people taking themselves and their beliefs too seriously,
people pissing on the toilette seat and not cleaning it up,
people who act like art does not appeal to taste, but instead a inherit greatness which any "reasonable" person would be able to detect,
the idea that society is decaying / declining / doomed / reliant on only one paradigm,
non-consenting sex,
reverence of deadly force especially as the means to resolves problems and differences of opinion or culture,
Victorians


As you may be able to detect many of the things in here I have hinted to feeling myself, which upsets me.
I know feeling something and action on it is different, but I often wonder if i werem ore enlightened if I would take my beliefs less seriously and thus be bothered less by the broadcasts of opinions I don't agree with.

Jarys: "almost..theeeeeere....."

Sen. Hillary Clinton's decision to end her historic bid for the White House and ceding the Democratic nomination to Sen. Barack Obama, ends a long, often bitter battle for the right to challenge Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., in the general election. Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., is the only former first lady to make a historic bid for the White House. (Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)Obama, D-Ill., who claimed victory after clinching the necessary delegates on Tuesday, will be the nation's first African American running with the nomination of one of the country's two major political parties. Clinton's Bid for History Falls ShortHillary Clinton, the former first lady and two-term senator from New York, entered the race over a year ago with the words, "I'm in it to win it."Clinton quickly emerged as the formidable frontrunner, raising millions of dollars and leading in both state and national polls. In an ABC News/Washington Post poll conducted in December 2006, she was supported by 39 percent of Democrats and Democratic-leaning independents, well ahead of her nearest competitors -- Barack Obama with 17 percent support; former Sen. John Edwards, D-N.C., with 12 percent; and former Vice President Al Gore, 10 percent.

....but I can't afford it right now.
here's a teaser:

Yes, I've heard the news about Obama bing the presumptive Nominee, no I am not celebrating yet.
While I am certianly not taking cues from Clinton's delusions that there is still a contest, I want Obama to get enough recognition that the word "presumptive" is removed.
Then I will celebrate.
In the meantime, if you've ever gone by the name J.C. Denton, you might find this interesting.
http://www.boingboing.net/2008/06/04/reprap-universal-con.html
hah, boingboing, gets me to link to it, that's news by itself.
Though to tell you the truth I wanted to link to it yesterday with this:
http://www.boingboing.net/2008/06/03/steampunk-r2d2-tee-s.html
I bet that bird can't fix an x-wing, though.

There are a lot of things to talk about, but beterbilts political stuff has be charged so politics it is.
Why I think Obama won and will continue to win: peterbilt made a good comment when he says that the media is over simplifying when they say that the message of hope beat out the message of experience. But I think there is a reason they report it that way: it easier to report on than a complicated answer, and it assumes that the american voter, especially in groups is simnple and kinda dumb.
Why would they want that to seem true? Well most of the media folks wouldn't do it consciously, there is no conspiracy, but the political adisors do.
The idea that the harsh realities of the washingtom machine are outside the grasp of normal people, who need to be patronized, is an old one in DC. It comes hand in hand with the cynacism grown there it is often purpetued to validate politicians and the political machine it refrences.
This is why so many politicians use juvinile and decietful campaign tatctics, they think we won't notice, as we are too honest and dumb. They think we will look past the shenangans if we see them and take only the messages from them the campagners wish we would pay attention to. They treat us like children.
Obama won over Hillary, I believe because he virtually never did this, and often acted the opposite, speaking to us like adults whose concerns were informed (when they were).
And Clinton did.
Suddenly all inklings of ideas that Clinton is morally and politicaly compramised seem validated. Next to her Obama seems more virtuous than he really is. And the contest is at times, then, dictated by the voters dignity.
Even if they were the exact same on every issue, people will support Obama because of the way he treats them.
And, I'm sorry, but thats not a lie, a tactic or anything false. That kind of political behavior can't be faked, because it has too few precedents. It can only come from pasive avoiding of the paradigm I wrote of earlier, or active refusal to believe it.
I've heard liars try to fake respect they don't feel.this is not it.

Bioshock has the best con choose-able ending of any shooter I've ever played...more than most games. It cemented the ideas behind the story, and the character, in a truly literary fashion. I am actually tearing up.